Save Your Breath
by Nate Fisher
Summary: Severus Snape loves Lily Evans. Lily Evans loves Severus Snape. James Potter loves Lily Evans. Will he really allow Severus to come between his relationship with Lily?
1. Stay Out

**A/N: **I write the chapters from Snape's point of view. My best friend, cheyjeevas, writes the chapters from Lily's point of view. The end.

**Disclaimer: **I do not, nor will ever own any Harry Potter characters. Although Draco Malfoy does 'belong to me' between my and my friends. ;)

* * *

I tightly gripped the sleek brown Potions book in my hands. I could barely make out my small, cramped handwriting. My handwriting was never great, but it had never been that bad. I remember the exact person who was on my mind; Lily Evans. When _wasn't _she on my mind? Come to think of it, she usually was the only person _ever_ on my mind. I never typically had other things to think about, aside from the Marauders taunting me, which wasn't something I'd please to be on my mind.

Speak of the devil, she was walking towards me right now. I clutched onto the Potions book, as if my life depended on it. My knuckles turned bone white, paler than they already were. I didn't look up. I couldn't look up.

_Snivellous you're such a coward!_ I could almost hear James Potter yell at me. I could picture myself carefully ignoring him, not letting his words get to me. I could hear him pressuring me, until I finally lost it. I could see myself, pulling out my wand. I could see him looking at Sirius Black, laughing. _What are _you _gonna do, Snivellous? _I could see myself, my hand shaking, pointing my wand at him, shouting, _Sectumsempra! _But that wasn't me. I didn't have enough nerve to... Walk near Potter. Let alone use said spell on him.

"Severus?"

Before she could ask, I gestured beside me, where she always sat. This was sort of like our tree. I sighed as she stared over at the Marauders, who were laughing as they threatened a couple of first years, who looked on the verge of tears.

"I hate them," she whispered. I had never heard the word 'hate' come out of Lily Evan's small red lips. Lily Evans was kind. Lily Evans didn't _hate_ anyone, not even the Marauders. Something was changing...

"Those are strong words, Evans." I muttered.

I looked over at her. Her eyes were still on them. I set my Potions book aside, and simply watched her. It was hard to see her green eyes full of such hatred. She shrugged.

"_You_ use 'those words' all the time, Severus." she snapped.

Touche_._

"I know, but I --" I started.

"Have a reason?" she interrupted. "Please, Severus. You think I don't? I don't usually hate people for no reason whatsoever, do I?"

"You don't usually hate people." I snarled. "But, Evans --"

"Exactly, Severus." she hissed. "So what makes you think I would start hating people with no reason? They're bullies, Severus. Yet everyone simply adores them. I don't understand."

I laughed hollowly and humorlessly. "Do you really need an explanation, Evans? They're good looking. They're funny. They're easy to get along with. They're everything everyone wants to be."

She stared at me blankly, opening her mouth to argue, but she didn't say anything. I grabbed my Potions book, and ran off to the Slytherin common rooms.


	2. Guilty Pleasure

I just blinked as Snape ran away. Why does he always do that? I sighed. Would he ever realize that I wanted to be more than just friends? I stood up, and took a deep breath. With my bag slung over my shoulder, I strode over to where the Marauders were. James was busy taunting first years, per usual. I mentally rolled my eyes.

"Hey! James!" I yelled as I was walking towards him. He immediately stopped teasing the first years. I motioned for them to scurry along. They ran away as fast as their fast little legs could take them. I adjusted my bag on my shoulder.

"Ah. Lily, have your changed your mind?" James smirked. I narrowed my eyes.

"No, I haven't. I'm not going out with you." He sighed.

"Well, what do you want then?"

"I just came to tell you how repulsive, disgusting, vile, and nauseating I think you are." James just blinked at me. I turned, and stalked off to the Gryffindor Common rooms. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him slump against the tree. Good. Wallow in all the pain I dish out.

I followed the staircase up to the common rooms. The stairs were moving pretty slow. I don't know if it's just me or what. Everything has been a mess in my life lately. James has been bothering me even more than usual lately. Sev has been sort of ignoring me lately. Lots of tests are going on in school, and my parents haven't been feeling well. I finally reached the Fat Lady.

"Password?" She blandly said.

"Lavender Leaves." I said just as blandly.

"Incorrect." She stated, shocked. I usually remembered the passwords. Strange...I looked around the staircase. There were no Gryffindors around. Hmmm...something's not right. I collapsed against the wall, and sighed. Luckily I had my notes, quills, ink, and paper so I could study and do my homework. I grabbed them out of my bag, dipped the quill in ink, and started writing tonight's assignment.

I was about 10 minutes into my homework when one of my friends came along. Summer Black. Despite her being the sister of Sirius, she was actually a very good friend of mine. She gave me a questioning look.

"What are you doing sitting on the floor like that?" She giggled.

"I forgot the password." I grimaced.

"Your kidding, right?" Summer raised an eyebrow.

"No. Dead serious." I replied.

"Whatever you say, Lils."

"Lilac Petals." I slapped my hand to my forehead.

"What?" Summer questioned. I started putting my stuff into my bag again.

"I said the antonyms of those words. Lavender Leaves was my guess. I guess this mess is getting to my head." We entered the Common Room.

"Should we study upstairs or down here?" Summer asked me, playing with her curly jet black hair.

"Upstairs, definitely. I don't want your brother and his goons bothering us."

"Good point. Have everything you need before we go up?"

"Yup," I said. "I think so." I grinned at her. Summer and I climbed the stairs, and plopped onto our beds.

After about an hour and a half of studying and homework, we found it time to go and eat. We safely stored our items in our trunks and dashed down the stairs. Summer skidded to a stop before the final turn around the corner. I nearly slammed into her. I noticed she was looking for her brother or any other trouble makers. She gave me a thumbs-up.

"Coast is clear." I nodded back at her.

We headed out the portrait hole and onto the staircase. Hopefully we'd avoid any drama and we'd have a peaceful dinner for once. Those are highly unlikely, and only happen once a month or so. Crossing my fingers for a peaceful one. I tugged on Summer's sleave and pulled her forwards as we ran to the Great Hall.


	3. She's So Sorry

**A/N**: Sorry it took so long, internet was down. Excuses. But it's true. Although, the main reason is because I was lazy and I procrastinated, which is weird for me because usually when I write something I get straight to it because I have nothing better to do. Yeah, I'm one of those lifeless nerds. Snape's point of view, blah blah blah. I think you get the drill.

**Disclaimer**: I dunno why I do these every chapter. Mostly because they're fun and add words to my short chapters. I _still wish _I owned the Harry Potter characters. Because if I did, Hagrid would _so _be dead by the third book, and Draco Malfoy would totally fan in love with this girl _awesome _named Chey. ^___^ Everything else credited by me.

**Warning**: This chapter won't be as great because my computer is _stupid_ and deleted _everything off my computer_ which means _all my music _meaning _no inspiration _because all I had to listen to was the CDs I already had. -shunned- So I'll shut up now and let you read mk.

I walked through the corridors silently and carefully, I didn't want to encounter some of my so-called _friends._ I loathed them, but they were all I had; what could I do? Evans was most definitely getting tired of me, and although as much as I enjoyed my time with her, the both of us needed a break. A fight was placed between us everyday. Over the most pointless things, too. I had come to the conclusion that the best thing to do was to spend less time with her.

Reaching the Slytherin common room, I took a deep, shaky breath. They would be in there. They would stare at me, laugh at me, and I would watch them. Standing aside, letting them torment me. They knew I was weak. They knew I was a coward. I didn't have the nerve to do anything. What _did_ I have the nerve to do?

"Serpensortia," I muttered and the door flew open, revealing the fact that no one was there. I glanced out the window, realizing that it was around dinner time. I shrugged. I wasn't really hungry, anyways.

I sat down by the fire, watching it burn. For a while, I simply started there, pondering. It grew later, and I came to the realization that the rest of the Slytherins would be coming back soon. I hurried upstairs into the boy's dormitories and slipped under the covers.

I hid behind the corner, watching Lily. She was meeting up with Black's sister; Summer. I felt guilty and weird following her around like this, but what could I do, right?

"Hey, Lils." I could hear Summer's voice. I couldn't see her, all I could see was Lily's backside. I wondered if Summer was the reason Potter was interested in Lily. Possibly because Black mentioned something? I could picture them at Black's house, Summer and Lily laughing downstairs while Potter and Black watched from the stairwell, Potter talking about how 'hot' Lily looked. I shook the picture of horny James Potter out of my head and concentrated on Summer and Lily. "Sorry I'm late..."

"It's fine." said Lily. "Where were you, anyways? You weren't in the dorms this morning. I didn't even see you last night."

"Oh, um, no where." Summer told her.

"Summer," whined Lily, begging Summer to tell her where she was.

"I'll tell you later, Lily," she snapped.

They walked off together in silence. Gryffindors were so forgiving; I would have been hexed if _I_ were late.

"So, Potter really likes you, eh?"

Lily snorted. "I could care less whether James Potter likes me or not. I can't stand him either way."

I smirked. That was the Lily I knew. That was the Lily I loved.

Summer stopped, as did Lily and I hid under the stairwell leading towards the fourth floor.

"Well, if you don't like James, then who _do _you like?" asked Summer. "Everyone else does."

"Uh... No one." Lily stammered.

I was almost certain it was a lie. I definitely hoped it was.

"Come on, Lils. Who do you like?"

"Fine. I do like someone." Lily told her. "But I'm not telling you who, so you may as well stop because you're not getting an answer."

Summer huffed, and they continued to walk. Maybe it wasn't Lily and I. Could it be Lily was in... A mood? I wondered why. Had I done anything to upset her? Had Summer? Was Potter getting to her? Should I confront her? Should I ask her what's on her mind? Did she want to vent? To me, at that? I shrugged, and followed them. I wished I knew where they were going. I didn't want them to suspect something. Lily would think I was a creep, and never talk to me again. But then why was I following her? If I didn't want to be a creep; shouldn't I avoid creepish things? I sighed. I couldn't help it.

"Evans!" I called out, suprised by my words. I slowly stepped down the stairs; Summer and Lily both turned around at the same at the same time. Lily was smiling at me, and Summer was glaring. She wasn't too fond of me, but she was a Black; they hated me anyways.

"Hello, Severus," she said casually. "How're you?"

Summer, who was still glaring at me, tapped Lily's shouldering, muttering that she was leaving, still looking at me. She turned away, and I smirked.

"I'm fine." I said, turning away from Summer and looking back at Lily. "Shall we?"

I gestured out of the castle; which was where Lily was going, anyways.

She nodded, and I led her out. From the corner of my eye I could see the Marauders sitting by their favorite tree. _As always._ Lily did not let this pass by her. She grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"Just ignore them, Sev." she told me. We stalked out. She was still holding my arm and I wondered if this action was by fault or not. Potter stared as we stepped outside. I could sense rays of jealousy coming from him. I made no reaction as he stepped towards us. Lily stared up at me, making sure that I wasn't going to do anything such as turn away. Black and Lupin quickly followed Potter, laughing. Pettigrew sat behind the tree, taking him a minute to realize that his friends weren't there. He stood up and waddled towards them.

"Afternoon, Snivellous!" shouted Potter. Black and Lupin snickered.

"Oh, hello, Potter." I muttered.

"Hey, Evans." he winked. "Have you changed your mind?"

"Damn you, James." Lily said quietly. "You're sick. I _hate _you and I always will. Why can't you just take a hint, and leave me alone?"

"Those are big words for a goodie-two shoes," said Black. He looked away from her, looking at James. "Looks like Snivellous has changed her, Prongs." He looked back at Lily, who was rolling her eyes.

"No, Padfoot, she's not as _hard core_ as Snivellous." joked Potter. "Is she, Snivellous? At least shehas the nerve to tell us off."

"Shut up." I said quietly.

"What was that, Snivellous?" asked Lupin.

Why was I afraid of them? They were idiots, with nothing better to do aside from making fun of me and embarrassing me. I didn't understand. I was afraid of everyone... I was afraid of _everyone!_

"Shut up!" I said louder than I needed to.

"Ooh, Snivellous has sass," wheezed Pettigrew.

"Well, what are you going to do now, Snivellous?" asked Lupin. "Or is that _all_ you can do?"

I stepped away from Lily who pulled me back. I didn't even look at her. I simply pulled away and pointed my wand at Potter. Lily shouted at me to stop while the rest of the Marauders laughed.

"You want to fight, Snivellous?" he laughed.

"No shit, Sherlock."

He took out his wand, and pointed at me.

"Need help, Prongs?" asked Black, resting his head on Potter's shoulder.

"Nah, Padfoot, I think I can handle it," laughed Potter, throwing him away.

The rest of the Marauders backed away, pulling Lily with them. I could hear her concerned voice, telling them to make us stop. Lupin replied, "Relax, Evans. Snivellous can't do anything, and James knows when he's gone too far." I snarled. _No he doesn't. _Lupin doesn't know the meaning of 'too far'. None of them do. Especially not Pettigrew.

"_Expelliarmus!_" I shouted.

"Good job, Snivellous! What are you going to do now? _Lumos_ me?"

"_Sectumsempra!_" I muttered shakily. Blood gushed out of Potter. Lupin and Black rushed over to him, while Pettigrew and Lily watched. She would probably hate me. But he deserved it. I felt no guilt. I looked at Lily; she looked disgusted in me. Lupin and Black dragged Potter to the Hospital Wing. Pettigrew followed. I didn't think he realized what was going on. Personally, I felt proud. I had just stood up to the Marauders.

I walked over towards Lily. "Alright, then. Shall we go?"

"Severus, what's _wrong_ with you?!" she shouted.

"Absolutely nothing." I told her, rolling my eyes. "What do you mean?"

"What do you _think _I mean?" she hissed.

"You... You're not _blaming _me for this, are you?"

"Of course I am! Did you not see what just happened?"

"Yes, Evans, I did. He had it coming."

"'He had it coming'?" she quoted.

"Did you not see what just happened?" I mocked.

"I know what happened, Severus! But he didn't deserve whatever the hell you did!"

The rage I had been bottling up for the past week was rising. I took a deep breath.

"Are you saying you care more about James Potter than me?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying. Why would you -"

"Whatever, Evans." I said, clearly frustrated. "Why don't you just follow them if you care so much? Hold his hand. Assure him that everything will be fine. Sob over his unconscious body. _Let him win."_ I didn't mean it. I couldn't mean it.

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Acting like what?" I asked smugly, although I knew completely just how I was acting. She deserved whatever the hell I was giving her. She was being a hypocrite, what could I say?

"Severus, you know how you're acting." She said coldly.

I couldn't believe how _she _was acting.

"Evans, you're just a filthy Mudblood." I said angrily. "And a hypocrite, at that."

She stared at me, clearly pained by my words, but I didn't regret them. I had nothing to say to her, absolutely nothing to say to her aside from what I had just told her. Yet again, I didn't feel guilty. I couldn't feel guilty. When I was in first year, and called Lily Evans a Mudblood for the first time, I felt guilty. I really did. Lucius Malfoy told me that Slytherins didn't feel guilty, and I immediately stopped. I didn't even remember how I got Lily to forgive me. I didn't apologize. I never apologize; Slytherins don't do that, either.

I could feel Lily's shaky hand reach up to my face to slap me. I took a deep breath, ready for it. Instead, she shook her head. "You're honestly not worth it, Severus." I wasn't worth a slap? I wasn't sure whether to be hurt or glad.

She walked off, probably taking my suggestion and falling into the arms of James Potter.


	4. Remembering Sunday

AN:// I'm so sorry this is taking so long. ;~; School and 'To Be a Best Friend' got in the way. Mostly school though. Oops. 0-:) Anyway, on with this chapter, because you do not want to know how my school days have been going. o.O;

Disclaimer: I don't own HP or any of the characters. Besides Summer. Um. Yeah. J.K. Rowling owns them.

Chapter Four

Save Your Breath

Lily's POV

I swallowed hard. With a burst of speed, I ran up to the Gryffindor common room. Fighting the tears in my eyes, I bit my lip as I ran past various teachers with questioning looks. I bet they all thought something like this, 'Lily Evans? Crying?' Finally, I reached the Fat Lady's portrait

"L-Lilac Petals," I studdered, my voice quavering.

"Um, you may pass, Miss Evans." The Fat Lady stated.

I jumped through the portrait door, and ran up to the girls' dormitories. I hopped onto my bed and grabbed the pillow. I threw the covers over my head, then proceded to bawl my eyes out.

Why? Why did I have to be so mean? Why did he have to be so mean? He was the one who helped me when I was younger. What matters now? Should I go to Potter, like he said? More like would I go to Potter. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. I guess I wore myself out, because I drifted off into a deep slumber.

When I awoke, the sun was shining, in my eyes. I blinked them open, and noticed that Summer was sitting on the edge of my bed, holding a bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. I sniffled, then raised at eyebrow at her.

"I was wondering when you'd wake up. It's already two in the afternoon. Classes have already started." She tossed a bean into her mouth.

I sniffled once more. She dug around in her box of Every Flavor Beans and picked out two she knew I liked best. Mashmallow and Chocolate. They reminded me of Smores. I popped them into my mouth.

"Would you like some real food, Lils? I snuck some up here figuring you wouldn't want to go out in public just yet." I nodded, thankful.

She walked over to her bed and grabbed the tray off the bed. I sat up and she placed it on my lap. I grabbed a piece of chicken, and bit into it forcefully.

"How are you feeling, Lily?" Summer asked me.

"Fine," I mumbled, after I swallowed the chicken.

"Do...you want to talk about it? It's okay if you don't, but you're my best friend," Summer's voice trailed off.

"I'd rather not," I sighed, and grabbed another piece of chicken.

"Okay, well, if you want to, I'm here." I nodded.

"Thanks," I smiled at her.

I finished my food, and sighed. I was extreamely tired, although I slept for so long. I grabbed a tissue from the box that was convenently located at my bedside.

"Well, I think I'm going to go back to sleep now. I'm still pretty upset. Not to mention tired." I forced a smile.

"Okay, I'll be close by if you need anything." Summer put the rest of her Every Flavor Beans next to my box of tissues. She gave me a reassuring smile and walked down to the common room where you could hear the laughter of many 1st years.

I pulled the covers over my head, and yawned. I never knew I could feel this tired. I poked my hand out of the covers, and felt for the Burtie Bott's. I finally reached them, and poured out 5 of them. I withdrew my hand now, and snuggled under the covers once more. I threw two of the beans into my mouth. Orange and Mango, I reconised. I swallowed, then put the rest of the three into my mouth. Noodles, Onion, and Lamb. Interesting combination. I sniffled for the last time that day, and drifted off into another deep sleep.


End file.
